As time rolled on, I was fortunate enough to land a full-time position at a very cutting-edge and scientifically-thriving nutriceutical company who goes above and beyond to offer their employees various fulfillment and blessings. I really enjoy what I'm doing. For a while, I thought I could possibly do more writing, but as I tried to achieve in school---I know I am not the strongest writer, but I attempt to portray the strongest message nearest to my heart.
October 2012... Some anniversaries are taking place this month. Five years since my (now) husband and I started dating towards what turned out to be a life commitment so far. It has now been almost 1 year since we bought our first house, trailer, tin can... whatever you would like to call it. I'm spending much of the last few months of the year in regret with some of the past choices I've made. Drowning my sorrows thinking and dreaming about the woulda, coulda, shoulda's rather than thanking God for all of the Blessings and short-comings he has allowed me and my tiny family to overcome.
Parenting a 6 year old girl has turned out to be quite the struggle. In my mind, I feel as though she has nothing to be unhappy about, but her actions and responses tell me quite the different story. I wonder if it is in fact- a very real- peer pressure. All other children constantly throwing all their wonders into her face. Would this in fact cause some emotional stress that I (as her mother) will never be able to fix? I still somehow want to give the world to my daughter. But what if the world isn't good enough to be given?
I have since gone back to graduate school to pursue higher education within my weakness--Creative Writing. I'm struggling to keep up and succeed in my personal goal. Things are different now. I have to balance between full-time work, family, daughter responsibilities, and online graduate work. Many people take sabbaticals so they can finish their Master's degree. I do not currently have that luxury. I can only hope that 2013 will be met with more light and less darkness followed by a sense of moving forward.
I have a lot of dreams. My dreams, wishes, wants, and desires are vastly different from when I was a young girl. But they are still present all the same.